so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize