Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
