I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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