My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize