Me. At least after what I've been through.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
