I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
