Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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