Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
