I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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