Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
