I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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