Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
