i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
