he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
