I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize