Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
