I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
