if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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