is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
