fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize