At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
