if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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