totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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