we have pet lesbian snakes
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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