Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
