walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
