Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
