i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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