Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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