I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
