As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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