ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!

  Fav 7 1660 730

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

  Fav 136 8447 56815

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.

  Fav 13 1735 4166

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.

  Fav 6 5217 1306

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

  Fav 24 6120 1945

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.

  Fav 10 5740 1178

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

  Fav 14 1307 4889

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

  Fav 10 4201 1306

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess what happened to me today at work?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have chlamydia. What happened.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

  Fav 11 2959 1631

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.

  Fav 8 2512 879

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video

  Fav 10 3021 1116

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

  Fav 7 2009 763

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much

  Fav 0 48 14

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.

  Fav 1 50 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.

  Fav 0 60 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize