The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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