woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
