the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry my hands just texted you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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