I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
