Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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