:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize