Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize