Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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