He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
