Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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