Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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