3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
North Korea, Best Korea!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
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