battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
