We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
