You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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