return my video game
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
