curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
