On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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