Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
