So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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