I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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