Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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