Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
