I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
