I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
