the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
