I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
